Expo Edition

Okay so this blog is supposed to be about my adventures riding the bus, but you know what it's my blog and I can do whatever I want with it, so this post is dedicated to the atrocities of this past weekend...Expo.

Actually this little tidbit is bus related. A few weeks ago a bus driver asked me if he could take me to Expo. After I told him that I didn't really care for the debauchery that is the weekend he told me all I really had to do was ride around in his car with him. I didn't even have to get out of the car. Um...right. I'm a beautiful woman (I'm not being cocky, that's confidence please don't get those confused), but I'm not a fucking trophy who you can parade around in your car. Lame-o.

Anywho...I work downtown in the mall and during Expo all the teenagers and some adults come out and parade around in outfits I can only assume come out of their closets just for Expo. It's ridiculous. Many, many fashion no no's. Oy. This is a probably a fraction of what I witnessed:

• lots and lots of fake sneakers, it broke my heart. Nice colorways though.
• tube socks (w/ stripes) and stilettos. I'm not sure what this chick was thinking.
• lace bras and booty shorts. (she could've be no more than 15)
  
• spandex outfits I normally see on strippers at the strip club (again on young, young girls. and yes I do enjoy going to the strip clubs, it's amusing. and yes I did state loudly something about stripper clothes and the girls looked back at me as if they knew EXACTLY who I was talking about.)
  
• more skin than when I go to the pool (and I wear a two-piece bikini).
  
• man-pris (I'm sorry if your shorts go down to your calves they're not shorts anymore).
  
• "dresses" that were probably more shirt length, you know you should be wearing leggings or pants or something with those.
  
• little girls trying to walk in stilettos, if you can't walk in the, don't wear them.
  
• oodles of sausage aka girls in shirts that are two or three sizes too small and making them look like...well...sausage...sausage being squeeeeeezed really hard.
  
• short shorts with airbrushing across the booty.
  
• them damn Kanye sunglasses.
  
• nice high waisted shorts and a cute top and some fucking sneakers.
  
• mismatch of brightly colored everything.
• at least 9 or 10 pregnant girls running around like they weren't pregnant at all

I spent a lot of my work day looking around and tilting my head to the side and saying to myself WTF??? I feel like I can't even express in words how I feel about what these girls had on. I know it's a different time/century, but still...put some fucking clothes on.

I'm pretty sure there were a lot of babies conceived this weekend.  As I was coming into work on Sunday a handful of girls were getting on the bus in what looked like the clothes they probably had on the night before.  My only guess is they slept in SOMEONE'S hotel room the night before.  Hmmm...